Miserable Retail Slave (comedy)

Audio alert: one of the mics cuts out until the 7:20 mark. So if you wanna skip ahead, that's the place to start. This week: 40 hours of video gaming; the Man of Steel trailer, with 79% more Kevin Costner outrage; the man who lives with goats; Tommy's pal, Bob Dylan; we review Kreayshawn's "Go Hard (La.La.La.)"; RIP Sherman Helmsley; Sherman Helmsley, the singer; the Olympics; how not to be possessed by a demon; Pete Rose and Fred Willard - dirty old men; Kenny Chesney can get you shot; Snoop Lion; and Tommy begins his transformation into Pauly Shore. 

Direct download: 10._Polish_the_Goofy.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:13am EDT

Our first try drinking and recording this episode resulted in good stuff, but audio problems. Our second try resulted in decent stuff and a couple of drunks (one of us is drunker than the other, we'll let you decide which one that is). We talk about Grampy Jim's youthful tales, Serial huggers, more on the Miami face eater, and Marilyn Manson's uterus. Randy schools Tommy on the origin of Kin Kardashian. We review Green Day's new single, "Oh Love." When otters attack, shark bites, women in MMA, and Tommy is a thief. Feed me that face for that lunch I fed you.

Direct download: 9._Im_Not_Holding_No_Bars.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:48pm EDT

This week: Tommy rages against Nicholas Sparks and The Notebook; Souls for sale on ebay; All cats are lost souls; why does Wonder Woman fly like that?; Why does Sebastian the crab want me to get to first base with Ariel?; Soula Coaster; Orange face and sunscreen pills; Dragon Slayer; Joey Chestnut eats a lot of meat; Plushies and Ted; Spider-Man; Justice League; Dave Grohl's drum sticks; Plus, trailer hitch testicles and boob headlights. Enjoy the show, tell a friend to download and leave us a review on iTunes.

Direct download: 8._My_Job_is_Fighting_Bowser.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:36pm EDT

This week, we talk about Rock of Ages. Tommy wants to become a drifter and is ashamed of his round, melon head. RFP puts forth his hopes for a Kenny Loggins vault of unreleased music. Steven Seagal's poo pants, summer nights filled with Baywatch and zombie proof cars. Plus, Tommy gets name-dropped by a much bigger podcast. Download and leave us a review on iTunes. PLEASE!

Direct download: 6._True_Life__I_Have_No_Face.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 5:43pm EDT

This episode: March of the Perverse Penguins, Hologram Woodstock, and the "Everybody Hates Us" rock tour. Also, Tommy gives out his phone number and mistakes Paula Cole for Chris Isaak. Plus, we talk about Twitter, discuss the importance of your Street Fighter II character, imagine what Scott Stapp is like in rehab, decide that the Wizard of Oz is a metaphor for purgatory, and marvel at the manliness of old action heroes. We touch on Ridley Scott, Alien, and Prometheus and bring up Alex Trebeck and Tom Selleck's magic mustaches. Hold these bananas!

Direct download: 5._Alien_vs._Gladiator.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 6:17pm EDT

4. Modified Squirrel Kites

This week: Heli-cat, the flying cat carcass! Synchronized tennis grunting! Road House! Patrick Swayze vs. Slyvester Stallone! Say Anything disasters! Tommy gets a respect point! The 2-year boner! Winnie Cooper! A love song countdown! Join Randy and Tommy with Uncle Jesse on the drums for this week's rad episode. Find out why we are the ones who knock.

Direct download: 4._Modified_Squirrel_Kites.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 10:33am EDT

This week we talk about all of the face-eating, entrails-tossing WTF news you can handle. Kevin Costner's a S.O.B. Tommy ruins American Horror Story and has a fever for more cowbell. Better city: Chicago vs. NYC. Walken and Donald Duck impressions abound. Plus: the Definitive Duck List, sheet ghosts, gay Green Lantern, zombie plans, plonkers, and the GNR 'Patience' challenge. Our Kool-Aid is better than your Kool-Aid. Download, listen, leave us a review, and tell a friend.

Direct download: 3._Field_of_Memes.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:38pm EDT

2. Only Communists Hate Shark Week

This week: teenagers are eating fingers, nerds evolve, the Avengers hate adoptions, and George Lucas pulls a d*** move. Co-host Tommy is a Jonah Hill/Napoleon Dynamite mutant combo and doesn't know the difference between Breakfast at Tiffany's/The Breakfast Club AND Fried Green Tomatoes/Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Plus, RFP is afraid of sharks and doesn't believe in the "3 Men and a Baby" Ghost. You ain't going to sink my battleship, no way. Download, listen, leave us a review. Tell a friend to do the same.

Direct download: 2._Only_Communists_Hate_Shark_Week.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 6:25pm EDT

In our inaugural episode, RFP and the worst comedian ever, Tom E. Thompson, talk about being a pair of Tubthumpers, Call Me Maybe, Liam Neeson's saucy tales of wolf love, celebrity holograms (like Tupac and Freddie Mercury), Against Me!, "Call Me Maybe" is ear cocaine, and the best drunk driving story ever. Plus, Tommy is the only person in the world that hated The Avengers. Download, enjoy, and tell your friends to do the same.

Direct download: 1._Fur_Cape_of_Wolf.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 9:04pm EDT