Miserable Retail Slave (comedy)
S04E21. Her Face was a Rorschach Test

A Secret Mistress/ Jortney/ Mudstreaks/ Tommy’s tombstone inscription/ Waitresses/ Conversations with Sober Tommy/Fruit Beer/ Bud Lite whispers/ A list of Tommy’s problems/ Do d-bags ever get tired of being douchey/ The Douche Program/ Line tattoos/ Crushing protein G’s/ Randy’s hair debacles/ “Don’t bite the fist”/ Saint Tootsie/ A Wolfman Baby/ The Convenience Nurse has a boyfriend/ Shout out to the moon/ ethical boners/ Pear: vegetable or fruit/ Cobweb elbows/ Loyalty Tattoo/ The Meaning of Cobweb Tattoos/ Updates on Ariel and online dating/ Is she an Ariel or an Ursula?/ Delicious B…./ Those bennies/ Raccoon Guy/ Underappreciated orgy guy/ The Bev Hypothesis/ Build an Acme trap/ Don’t have Sebastians/ Xanax Bars/ the Cannabis Cup/ Randy’s prog-rock band, Pipe N Bong/ Liking Phish/ iTunes reviews/ Dexter from Let’s Get Drunk and Talk Comics/ The Namor Podcast/ Aquaman’s wet t-shirt contest/ Skate or die/Tommy downloads the Couch Party app/Tommy yells into his phone/Anti-social media


(Episode 121)


Instagram: @Miserableretailslavepodcast

Twitter: @MRetailSlave

Direct download: S04E21._Her_Face_was_a_Rorschach_Test.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:47pm EDT

S04E20. Discount Ramen

Randy is discount ramen/ “down to Earth”/ Out of my league/ The Velveeta Mac/ Hunks/ Tommy has a smart phone!/ The Gravy Train/ Tommy talks into his phone/ Jortney/ Nose rings/ The Nose Taint/ Small Town Saturday Night/ Dancing on Ladies Night Out/ Secretly a Dancing Guy/ Randy won High School and Prom/ John Hughes Prom/ Prom Queens Gone Wild/ Tommy Two Shots/ The Death of Randy/ Things that should not be/ Speaking of Dying/ Tommy knows the lyrics to Magic Carpet Ride/ Randy’s Epic Rant/ The Thrilling Memoirs/ Poets/ Shoelaces/ Saving a bag/ Finding Moderation Tommy/ Paranormal Chef/ HAB’s cosplay idea/ Ruining Catwoman/ Sentimental Randy/ One Single Tear/ Documentary Now/ Michelle Pfeiffer/ P*ss On It/ Tommy hates cigarettes/ Smoking/ Canada’s Angriest Son/ Bragging about Memes/ Disclaimer Boy/ Feedback from S04E19/ Budgens/ Wooing women on online dating sites/ The Rug Doctor is Here/ Wonky Eye/ FISHING PUNS/ Let me tap that bass/ Be my shrimp boat captain/“I didn’t have to go fishing, I found my bass”/ Outdoorsy/ Too much adjective glory with a critical typo/Ariel or Ursula

Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast
Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave
Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy


Intro: Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 120)

Direct download: S04E20._Discount_Ramen.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:10am EDT

Special guest, Cassi (@mixedfeelingspc) from Mixed Feelings Podcast!!!! *blushes*


An all-female football league/ Curious Vanilla Ice/ Ice Boxes/ The Legend of Touchdown Tommy/ Condiments/ Mustard/ Cassi’s Nascar Adventures/ Tommy actually promotes the podcast/ Cassi gets interviewed/ Tom Selleck’s cut-out/ Commemorative Plate talk/ Favorite curse words or phrases/ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/ TMNT in concert/ Trying to get Splinter to communicate with you/ Michelangelo Cassi vs. Chad/ Randy took nunchuks to school/ The Shredder-Krang bromance/ Krang talk/ Hulk Hogan on the beach/ Hulk Hogan’s fannypack/ When the quality gets weird/ Greek Yoda/ A real Sharknado/ Pick your horror movie icon/ Harnessing Freddy’s friendship/ What would you do if you woke up to find a cat sitting on your chest?/Cassi’s fat cat gets a manicure/ Tommy and Abe Falcon drink absinthe/ Cocaine, the drink/ The Convenience Nurse at work/ A convenient Honey/ The Honey Quota/ Diner terms of endearment/ Clarissa/ Michelangelo is bae/ Identifying your turtle/ Online dating updates/ Getting Crawfished/ Wonky Eye/ Reverse Catfishing/ Too good looking to get a job/ Redheads?/ Active profile pics/ Cassi will check your medicine cabinet/ Hooking up with a Hawking/ Cassi’s Exit Strategy/ Tommy’s worst date ever/ Drinking Hands/ The origin of Hey, girl. Hey/ Cassi’s first date/ The first time Randy heard about sex/ Getting banned on Instagram

Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

Follow Mixed Feelings Podcast on Twitter (@mixfeelingspc) and Instagram (@mixedfeelingspodcast)!!!


Direct download: S04E19._Wonky_Eye.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 6:17pm EDT

A man who faints/ The Convenience Nurse/ Michael “Squints” Palledorous/ The Deadly Dance/ Nosebleeds/ Big Time High School Fights/ Little Mac vs. Bald Bull/ We’re like A Night at the Roxbury/ Running Aarons/ Cardinals/ Condescending Bottle Return Machines/ Tommy has an Honors Degree/ Leslie/ The Regular World 17: You’re Only Hot at Work/ A Money Order Disaster/ Hot Leslie/ Gene’s in Dead Zeppelin/ encouraging fatal flaws/ changing your laugh/how a pimp do/ A bonfire comedian/keep it flowing/ William Shatner vs. Sebastian Bach/ A look back to our first recorded conversation 5 years ago!/ Randy’s ravaged voice/ Sexy time/ Puppy Play/ The Secret Lives of Human Pups/ Online dating/ A saucy tomato/ Those huge oversized glasses/ Internet pheromones/ What are you hiding?/Dating a cyclops/At some point, everyone’s got to become shallow/ Those quirky, beautiful girls/ Two face/ The Ranch Daddy/ Who’s your favorite red head?/ Talking Rams/ Comb your hair/ THE MORTGAGE/Sign Language Facetime/ The Long, Drawn Out Goodbye/ Irish Car Bombs/ “I am all of a Theisman”


Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy


(episode 118)

Direct download: S04E18._Five_Finger_Fruit_Punch.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:02pm EDT

Special appearances by TRB from The Retail Rant podcast (@The_Retail_Rant) and Penrose from Grimelords (@PenroseEames). Cameo by Cassi from Mixed Feelings Podcast (@mixedfeelingspc).


Fit as a fiddle/ Randy is the fiddle in the Charlie Daniels Band/ Fat to skinny, ya look weird/ Tommy as a slenderman/ Tommy’s headshot/ Early mornings/ These morning routines/ “Gym Rat” Thompson/ Randy’s 1992 hat style/ Thinking Adam Sandler is funny/ Energy Drinks/ Gas Station Pills/ Hiring a sadist/ Encouraging near death experience for alertness/ Soda Bob/Taking an old MySpace survey/ Terry/ What kitchen utensil would you use to horror movie someone to death?/ Gramma Grim & Machete Mick/ The worst gift that you’ve ever received/ What sea animal would you be reincarnated as?/ Naming a pig/ P*ss On It/ Manager John/ Causing Tommy a tragedy/ Tommy’s alcohol moment/ Grandpa had a lot of Secrets/ Mr. Penrose from Grimelords and TRB from The Retail Rant join the Show!/ The Bambi Randy/ Elevated Angles/ Bobbleheads/ Shoot Your Shot/ Don’t go for the 10s/ The problem with carpenter jeans/ Volleyball/ Tommy’s garlic/ Missed Connections/ “when you live in California, your friends are some weird people”/ Missed Connections Marriage/ starting to reply to missed connections/ The Rust RAW Report/ Penrose and Randy go cow tipping/ The reason why you shouldn’t eat in the dark/ Where White People Meet/ Washington Andre the Giants/ Football talk/ Randy is Miracle Whip/ A brief cameo from Cassi from Mixed Feelings Podcast/ Tommy is a grown up version of Bobby’s World/ Bobby’s World talk


Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy


(Episode 117)

Direct download: S04E17._Shootin_Your_Shot.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:48pm EDT

Jesus' Blog/ Mosquitos on Skee-Doos/ Origin Stories/ Dig Dug/ Randy’s Surreal Weekend/ The Bottom/ Tommy opens for Dave Landau again/ Ghetto Rednecks/ Racist Geese/ Owning The Accountant Horseshoe/ Paper/ A Long Table Full of Drunk Women/ Three Apples Tall/ Tommy is the white Urkel/ Lose Yourself/ “If you wanna hear me do another, buy me a shot”/ Going out with Sober Tommy/ What other people would choose to choke to death on/ Tommy’s rule/ online dating nonsense/ Update on The Fartist/ Randy needs to change his name/ Reseting Tinder/ Rhonda Rolled/ Woof McGilliculty is sniffing around again/ Dating a pregnant girl/ Introducing Jen Morrison/ The Doors/ Peace Frog/ Go suck an egg/ P*ss on It!/ Manager John/ YouTube is ruining the world/ Dan and Phil/ Polos/ Get Debt, Get Humble


Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

Direct download: S04E16._The_Maybe_Daddy.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:43am EDT

A real severe speech impediment/ That blink one eight two/ Letting off steam/ A ‘90s Indie Romance on the bus/ Tommy’s weird dream/ Spider, Leader of The Scorpions/ “Just stay on the ropes and don’t drink too much”/ Randy's choking on deadly meatballs/ Those two times that Randy almost died/ Sour ballz/ If you were going to choke to death on any food, what would you choose?/ Miserable Retail Slave for president 2016/ Attack The Retail Rant/ Friday the 13th/Tommy’s Camel Hump/ Toad the Wet Sprocket!/ More Online dating misadventures/ Getting a dame/The Suicidal Pygmys of South Dakota/ The Fartist/ The Nightlight/ P*ss on It/ Did Me Win?/ Randy vs. Hot Wheels McCraw/ The Cher function on Facebook


(Episode 115)


Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy


Direct download: S04E15._They_Call_Me_The_Mouse.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:59pm EDT

Against my Best Wishes/ Fast Food drive thrus/ A race against time/ Eyebrow worries/ Randy’s mantra/ Eyebrow Lovers of America/ Tommy wants a hippopotamus tattoo/ finally getting compliments by the world’s worst person/ My Mother, The Car/ Craig T. Nelson/ Tommy watches “Finding Bigfoot” at the gym/Ghost Brothers/ The proof is in the pad thai/ Preferred zombie apocalypse weapon/ Randy wants a crossbow/ Acting crazy in public/ Woof McGillicuty/Woof’s Square haircut/ Missed Connections/ Hose and Heels/ Hot Wheels McCraw


(episode 114)


Theme song: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

Direct download: S04E14._A_Memory_Hippo.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:31pm EDT

Portugal/ Never Been Cool/ Tommy’s YouTube karaoke/ So Many Jimmys/ The Dancing Dictator of Portugal/ “Hard Times” by D-Boy/ The Orange Gingers/Tommy’s Monster Squad shirt/ People who walk around carrying coffee/ Tommy and Kid Rock/ My Female Bodyguard/ Vanish her/ TomEComedy vs. TommyComedy/ Mixed Feelings Podcast (@mixedfeelingspc)/ Randy “Babyface” Retail-ioni, Mixed Feelings Mafia/ Picking a horse head/ Mr. Penrose (@PenroseEames)/ Manager John’s message/ Tommy’s hat/ Whatever happened with Woof McGillicuty?/ HAB impression/The Tomb of The Unlaid Soldier/ Beverage/ Dating Mrs. Doubtfire/ The first time that Tommy hit on a girl/ Picking up chicks, right?/ Songs of The Police

(Episode 113)

Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

Direct download: S04E13._Im_The_Great_Dane.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:17pm EDT

Classic/ Some Mark Twain/ Tommy’s big dilemma/ Monocle/ Facebook addiction/ Passing out high fives/ The Boss/ The band, The Band/ Adam Duritz/ The origin of Tommy the Drummer/ Childhood Toys


(Episode 112)

Direct download: S04E12._Some_Sort_of_Guy.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 10:48am EDT