Miserable Retail Slave

Tommy and Wal-Mart are in a feud/ Tommy doesn’t know what frugal means/ The Glossary of Neck Tattoos/ Deep Thoughts with Tommy/ Thank you, Wal-Mart Jesus/ Robin’s speedo/ Robin has hairy legs/ Batman loves Morrisey/ Tommy ranks Batman villains/ Bat Shark Repellant/ Batman vs Sharks/ Randy is a Minecraft character/ Barber Bill gets Triggered/ Being defined by your hair part/ The Sacred Symbol/ Women with straight down hairs/ The Great Barber vs. Beautician War/ That Barber Pole/ Lost Wages, Nevada/ The Patreon Page/ Tommy’s never gonna sell out Madison Square Garden/ Wilson/ Online Dating/ A plea to Dok Doom/ Smashingly/ Introducing Rita/ turning Tinder into a promotional machine/ We are sells outs/ The D*ck of the Week/ Supa Po’/ Sexting Gremlins/ So buoyant/ Acne/ The zitty, zitty face of the company/ Morticia/ Dr. Penrose

 

*S04E40 and S04E41 + Diary of a Retail Slave, vol. 1 and vol. 2 are exclusive for Patreon subscribers! Go ahead. Subcribe: patreon.com/miserableretailslave

 

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826
Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast
Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave
Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy
Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 143)

Direct download: S04E43._The_Glossary_of_Neck_Tattoos.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:47am EST

Whistling fats/ Safety pins/ Remember when there was no fact checking with Google?/ An expert on religion, ten drinks in/ That Hamburger Helper Glove mascot/ The Noid/ The Eye Doctor/ Tommy’s a dumpy little bat boy/ Zombie Eyes/ Ol’ Raisin Eyes/ The Rock is sexy/ Hulk Hogan’s Uncle Jesse (The Body)/ These Mondays/ Is Monday the start of the week or is Sunday?/ A Day in the Life of a Tommy/ Tommy’s friend played against Dave Coulier in a hockey game/ Jeff Daniels vs. Dave Coulier/ Moby Dick Monday/ Living on a houseboat/ Randy can’t swim/ World Records/ Made a trip through time and space/ Talking to a woman in The Regular World/ Training videos/ A new sponsor/ Smiting my enemies/ A visit to KFC/ “I was the fatness”/ Tommy’s sobriety/Tommy has road rage/ The Southpaw Spocker/ Spock judgement/ KFC holds the world’s secrets/ Nic Cage/ A Hulk Hogan leg drop stops time/ A retail tale…or re-tale, if you will/ The female embodiment of Beetlejuice/ D of the Week/ A new mascot for Thanksgiving/ My Meat Song/ The Backburner/ iTunes Reviews/ Tommy was on a classic rock station and didn’t mention the podcast

 

 

*S04E40 and S04E41 are exclusive for Patreon subscribers! Go ahead. Subcribe: patreon.com/miserableretailslave

 

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826
Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast
Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave
Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy
Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 142)

 

Direct download: S04E42._Chuckle_Buckets.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:30pm EST

Not stressing the important stuff/ Taco Bell Sushi/ standing in line/ Tommy shops for volleyball shorts/ Big Jim Day/ Haystacks/ Dennis’s Dog/ Tommy eats 50 lbs of pizza/ Wii Fat/ It’s Election Night!/ Voting/ Third Parties/ Everyone’s a POS/ Wolf Blitzer/ Breaking News: i don’t know/ Getting an awesome vice president/ Black Belt Jones/ The Power Team/ Seeing three Jake “the Snake” Roberts/ Biggest Wrestlers/ A Real Life Troll/ Does the president get drug tested?/ Rebooting Rambo/ Freddy vs. Rambo/ Too Young to Die/ A professional wrestling transition/ Joe Rogan “Triggered”/ Real Time Election Results/ “You gotta keep me endeared”/ Missed Connections/ Whackadoodles/ Don’t kiss those treacherous lips/ Walking off with a cliffhanger/ The Missed Connections Ann Landers/ An infinite number of Caidens/ The Rub


Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826
Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast
Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave
Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy
Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy
 
(Episode 139)

Direct download: S04E39._Breaking_News_-_I_dont_know.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:27am EST

Tommy overanalyzes everything/ They call me Gameboi/ Disclaimer/ A New Era of Positivity/ Famous Amos Moral Tales/ Mike Degrease Tyson/ Another horrible impression from Tommy/ The Power of Chuck/ Seeking Action Figure Status/ Beware the Freckled Children/ A frightening fact/ Rotting potatoes/ Hometowns/ Buying ice is a scam/ Black Eyes/ Fetus Sister/ Glen The Ice Man/ Future Mayors of America/ Boots/ Uh-Huh/ Being a fan of Pras in The Fugees/ Tommy gives up/ Rhode Island, home of the feral clowns/ wearing glasses for facial expressions/ Tommy’s small eyes/ Tommy’s smart phone addiction/ Country Music Name Game/ Cosmic Hallelujah/ Tommy’s stance on country music/ A Nancy Sinatra/ Cher likes bottled water

 

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast
Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave
Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy
Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

 

(Episode 138)

 

 

Direct download: S04E38._Gameboi_and_Road_Bike.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 9:16pm EST

Spooktacular/ Tommy is offended by swears/ John Denver hair/ 1930s face/ Making a Tommy voodoo doll/ Tommy eats like a housewife/ “You’re a bad song”/ These car accidents/ The Resurrection of Jake “The Snake” Roberts/ The Walking Dead deaths/ You have feelings when you quit drinking/ What’s your favorite candy?/ Tommy knows his ‘80s fat kid trivia/ Wal-Martians/ Chip Fingers/ Distance and Time/ Postal Service Dating/ The Miserable Hotline/ Miserable Retail Slave, Jr./ Tommy is not a lumberjack/ Jesus wore carpenter jeans/ You best rectify your mistakes/ Tommy has one hour a week to himself

 

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast
Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave
Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy
Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

 

(Episode 137)

Direct download: S04E37._Wal-Martians.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:02pm EST

Impromptu Guests, TRB (@The_Retail_Rant), Seattle Amanda (@mandasaurus_rex), and Penrose (@PenroseEames)

 

The Binge Drinking Diaries/ Remixing Tommy/ Meat Flasks/ Coughs/ Googling JTT/ Al from Home Improvement/ Under the Weather/ Tommy plays with his rubber ducky/ Swallowing books/ The Drunk Crown/ The Date/ The Not-So-Distinguished List/ Rubies/ Randy is not Ranty/ Getting a haircut/ Over attentive waitresses/ The ol’ Time Thing/ Digital Adrenaline/ Tommy gets heated/ That Flight or Fight Instinct/ Randy is the Coyote chasing The Road Runner/ Ranty’s first date with Mrs. Ranty/ Hey, Girl. Hey. I’m Movin’ IN/ Ranty sees Dave Landau in the middle of a hurricane/ Ranty’s Relationship Advice/ Tommy gets heated again/ Tommy gets heated for a 3rd time/ Long Distance Relationship tales/ Recognize the bass that swallows all the minnows/ Mr. Penrose joins the show/ Twitter is word vomit/ Mrs Penrose gives advice/ Eating Taco Bell/ Some d in the glass jar/ You will not my Sketchers/ Shootin’ Your Shot/ Eating White Castle/ Time and distance is opening up some doors

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast
Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave
Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy
Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 136)

Direct download: S04E36._Love_Potion_Number_Nein.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:52pm EST

BOO! A Madea Halloween/ Packs of Feral Clowns/ What’s scarier, Madea or Clowns?/ These nightmare clowns/ Being a Prophecy Man/ Stoop City, USA/ Sounding like a Bob Dylan Man/ A Real Life Magic Eye/ Farsighted hot vs. nearsighted hot/ Randy is a Human Trash Heap/ Rebel Flags/ The problem with that Dukes of Hazzard car/ Fatty, Fatty, 2 x 4/ Tommy’s horrible Don Knotts impression/ Andy/ Fonzie’s Illegitimate Children/ Those times when the retail worker is the worst/ Combo Burrito/ Nowhere fun/ The Miserable Hotline: Crazy Rituals with your Friends/ The Saga of Red ends, but a new Saga begins/ Sowing your digital seed/ The Universe, Here It Comes/ Now It’s Getting Real/ A No Woman Man/ Randy needs a haircut/ Tommy’s never kissed a girl/ PDA/ I am the cream/ The Hottest Sugarbabies in all the land/ Half Choking on Stupidity/ Glazed Donuts and Cannibal Corpse/ The Big Difference

 

 

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast
Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave
Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy
Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 135)

Direct download: S04E35._Combo_Burrito.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:31am EST

Swans/ Debates/ Backyard weddings/ Extended family terminology/ For Your Convenience/ “if we could create the estimated death”/ Hand sanitizer/ Meaty Lips/ Topless coffee shops/ Randy is a villain?/ Tommy aged 8 years in 1 week/ sweat suits/ Cigarettes/ Joe Camel/ Indecisive reversers/ Being tired of people who think they can say what they want/ Trips to the bank/ Allowances/ Bank tellers/ Big Pockets Thompson/ Tommy’s taking a trip to the lumberyard/ Tommy has anxiety over household chores/ Nervous Tommy/ This lumber life/ The Saga of Red continues/ Inspiring podcasts/ She Gone/ Randy’s last words/ An Adult Choose Your Own Adventure/ Tommy’s short haircut/ Randy’s Career Fair/ My Pal, Pig Pen/ Crazy Rituals/ Yahoo Answers/ husband bunking/ Bad influences/ Tommy’s a fan of Aaron Neville

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast
Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave
Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy
Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 134)

Direct download: S04E34._This_Lumber_Life.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:05pm EST

Meeting Crazy People/ Tommy’s Homeless Ex-Girlfriend/ Developing a personality/ Tommy’s gumline/ Having desk jobs/ Wearing a Big Cardboard Gerber Baby Face/ The Convenience Nurse is on Tinder/ Taking awful pictures/ The Good Swipe/ Tommy has a meme-able face/ Tinder and Spotify partnership/ ’90s Fart Rock/ Picking your Tinder song/ Randy’s Career Fair/ Becoming a Professional Line Stander/ The Saga of Red continues/ Spreading the gospel of #WaitItOut/ One Constant Dot Dot Dot/ The Stupidest Question/ Small Talk With My Boyfriend/ The Perfect Hipster Scenario/ Sex Mad Tortoise Saves His Species From Extinction/ Diego, the sexual hurricane tortoise/ Tommy’s new segment/ Terror Tommy’s Super Supernatural Terrible Terror Tales: the Ghost of Minnie Quay/ Spirits travel faster in water/ Tommy becomes a part of the story/ UF-Uh-Ohs/ herds of pervs and gangs of nerds/ Missed Connections/ sexuality is weird/ Oddest Town Names in America/ The Miserable Hotline/ No Duncan Shiek

 

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826


Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast
Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave
Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy

Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy


(Episode 133)

Direct download: S04E33._Jobber_For_Life.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 10:17pm EST

Drinking on a weekday/Pangea of the Mind/ Dad Speak/ Rebooting my life/ Shared Bathroom Etiquette/ Tommy’s not quick/ A Forrest Gump of the Highest Order/ Drinking up the awkward/ People have no clue/ Tommy Goes West/ The Roast of Rob Lowe/ Fish Necks/ Unseen Dangers/ One Direction is inside Tommy/ “My seaweed is my spinach”/ Fears/ Those space sharks/ Aquaman’s Prune Face/ Randy is attacked by a foreign exchange student/ Fish with human teeth/ Super HAB crocodiles/ The Saga of Red/ Tommy’s theme song/ Tommy, the advice guru/ #WaitItOut/ Taking it to Level 2-2/ The laziest motivational speaker in the world/ The Red Scare/ Little Spidey/ Gavin Rossdale gossip/ Calls from The Miserable Hotline/The Elvis Room/ The Cover of the Rolling Stone/ Randy and Tommy get Married

 

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826


Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast
Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave
Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy

Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy
Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy


(Episode 132)

Direct download: S04E32._Khaki_Dads_and_Inferior_Fathers.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 9:26pm EST